Whoa what a change!!!

So my last post was all about changing the way I look....well, my look definately changed but not the way I had planned. I found out in April that I was expecting my first child. HOLY CRAP!!! I freaked out! After I freaked out, I told myself that I could do this and thus began my journey to motherhood. I began preparing myself, first mentally, and then physically for what was about to happen. My pregnancy was extremely easy. I didn't have my first ultrasound until I was 26 weeks along...I did not know I was pregnant until just before then. Luckily, everything was fine. Baby was measuring big but was extremely healthy. Whew! What a relief!! I continued working full time until the day before I had my little guy. On Friday the 17th of August I did not go into work because I was having contractions. By the evening of the 17th, my parents were driving to my house to take me to the hospital. We got to LDS hospital just to be told I was not dilating and would have to be sent home. This was EXTREMELY frustrating because I was already 5 days past my due date. I decided instead of going home, I would go back to Springville with my parents. The next morning, which was Saturday August 18th, I was having severe contractions that would range from 4 minutes to 6 minutes and I was not able to talk through them. We decided to go to UVRMC in Provo just in case I was still not dilating and had to be sent home again. What was the verdict? You guessed it, still not dilating and had to be sent home. The was even more frustrating because I thought, "How can I be in SO much pain but have NOTHING happening?" Well, I went back to my parents house frustrated and in pain. Throughout the day the contractions became stronger and stronger. Finally I told my mom we had to go the hospital. This time we were going to go back to LDS since that is where I am supposed to deliver. Meanwhile, my mom had called the on call doctor from my doctors office and informed him that I was having many contractions. He then told her that I needed to head in and if I was making progress he would have them keep me. My mom let him know that I DID NOT want to be turned away AGAIN. He stated if he had any power to keep me there, he would. So thus began our final journey up to LDS hospital. By the time we got to the hospital, my contractions were so strong I had to be wheel-chaired up to the 4th floor because I could not walk. When we got there, I informed the nurse that I would not be leaving the hospital again. They may send me away but I would sit in the lobby until they would allow me to stay. They kind of laughed but I was dead serious. They got me into my room, checked me, and to my disappointment, nothing was happening. However, there is a silver lining to this story. The nurse asked me when my due date was. I informed her it was last Sunday August 12th. She called the doctor who said, because I was going to be 41 weeks at midnight, they would admit me and induce labor. THANK YOU HEAVENLY FATHER! is exactly what crossed my mind. I decided to have an epidural and boy am I glad I did. Since I was not dilating, the doctor decided to try petosin. They tried it a few times. However, the baby did not like the petosin and his heart rate would drop each time they tried to use it. After about 6 hours of active labor and continued failure with petosin, I was only dilated to a 7. The final shot of petosin they tried was so hard on the baby, his heart rate fell to 60. They immediately turned it off and we all collectively decided a C-section would be best for the baby and for me. I knew this was a possibility but I was still really nervous. They prepped me for the delivery. I decided I wanted my mom in the room with me. I cannot describe the feelings I felt when I heard him cry for the first time. I began to cry tears of joy that he was ok. I think a part of those tears were tears of disbelief. I was officially a mom!!! All of a sudden my world had changed and what I wanted or needed no longer mattered because I have a little person to take care of. His needs would always come before mine or anyone elses. I didn't understand how I could love someone so much I had not yet seen, only heard. My mom went to the nursery after the delivered him. Meanwhile, I was still lying on the table. The anesthisioligist could see I was having kind of a hard time so he asked me what type of music I like. The first band that came to mind was Journey so he pulled out his phone and put Journey radio on Pandora. We pretty much rocked out to Journey and that genre of music for the rest of the time they were closing me up. Dr. Peterson will never know how much I appreciate what he did for me. It really took my mind off of what was happening. After the doctors were finished, they wheeled me back to my room where the big moment of finally meeting my son occured. They brought him in and I was wowed but how adorable he was. Below is one of his first pictures. He weighed in at 6 lbs 5 oz and was 20 inches long. I had a skinny, tall little guy.

I will post my time in the hospital and since then very soon. In the meantime, here are a few pics taken during and since the hospital. Thanks for reading!!!

Day 1 of many to come

Today I decided I am tired of the way I look and feel most days so I am ready and motivated to do something about it. It is not that I have no confidence. Anyone that knows me, knows this is not true. However, the more time passes, I continue to hate how I look. I may be considered big boned but the extra weight I carry has nothing to do with my bones. This is my crutch standing in my way of happiness and joy in my life. It is really easy to blame difficult times in my life but when it comes down to it, every decision I make about my eating habits is just that, MY DECISION. The reason I decided to join Weight Watchers is because it is not just another diet, it really is a life change. It helps people track what they eat. I kept thinking "I don't eat that much" but tracking it is not only going to show me what poor decision I make when choosing my foods but also how much I really consume in one day. I am excited to change the way I think about food and exercise. NO MORE EXCUSES!!!!! I will try updating this daily, but lets be honest here, who has the time. I will update it at least 3 times per week. Thanks for supporting me!